The Past
Growing up I was the fat girl. I was almost 100 lbs in 2nd grade (I know this because it’s written on my report card), and could share clothes with my mom by 4th grade. Once in middle school I was bigger than my mom, and I just kept gaining. I was officially “plus sized” and that’s how I remained during most of high school - 230 lbs. and a size 20. I didn’t like my body and tried to hide my insecurities – act like it didn’t bother me. It was hard. I remember going the mall with friends, and going into stores that did not offer clothing in my size. My friends were kind, but they were clueless. I avoided the humiliation, and shopped only with my mom after that. It hurt inside to not be able to enjoy those social activities with others.
And then something clicked. I was ready to change. During my senior year I tried to lose weight, and I was successful. I started out exercising and making better food choices. And then I thought if cutting some calories was good, and some exercise was good, then cutting a lot of calories, taking diet pills, and exercising even more must be great (oh, the logic of an 18 year old). I lost 90 lhs in 8 months and kept it off for over two years. However, I was unhealthy. I hadn’t really replaced bad habits with good ones. I still had insecurities, and an unhealthy relationship with food.
During college I met my husband, and he helped me get on a safer track. With his encouragement I began to ease away from the strict food control and diet pills that had been part of my life.
The Present
I still long for a relationship with food and exercise that is healthy and part of my daily routine – my life.
Now, I am not a prior fat girl – I am a fat girl again. 190lbs!
I have two young children and had let my health become less of a priority. I made excuses for eating conveniently, and not exercising regularly, resulting in my current ”fat” status.
Recently, I went to the doctor for my yearly exam. It was the first time I’d gone in three years! Crazy how time flies…
As I was speaking with the doctor, our conversation went something like this:
Dr.: Do you take a calcium supplement?
Me: No
Dr.: Do you take a multi-vitamin including vitamin D?
Me: Um…no.
Dr.: How often weekly do you exercise for at least 30 minutes?
Me: Maybe one. (By this point I wanted to crawl under the chair)
Dr.: Do you have any concerns?
Me: No, not really.
Dr: Well, I’m glad that you came in today. It’s important that, even as busy moms, we take time to for ourselves.
Her comments resonated with me. I need to make my health a priority – that includes exercising, eating right, taking vitamins, and going for regular checkups! I need to for me, and I need to be an example for my family.
The Present
I still long for a relationship with food and exercise that is healthy and part of my daily routine – my life.
Now, I am not a prior fat girl – I am a fat girl again. 190lbs!
I have two young children and had let my health become less of a priority. I made excuses for eating conveniently, and not exercising regularly, resulting in my current ”fat” status.
Recently, I went to the doctor for my yearly exam. It was the first time I’d gone in three years! Crazy how time flies…
As I was speaking with the doctor, our conversation went something like this:
Dr.: Do you take a calcium supplement?
Me: No
Dr.: Do you take a multi-vitamin including vitamin D?
Me: Um…no.
Dr.: How often weekly do you exercise for at least 30 minutes?
Me: Maybe one. (By this point I wanted to crawl under the chair)
Dr.: Do you have any concerns?
Me: No, not really.
Dr: Well, I’m glad that you came in today. It’s important that, even as busy moms, we take time to for ourselves.
Her comments resonated with me. I need to make my health a priority – that includes exercising, eating right, taking vitamins, and going for regular checkups! I need to for me, and I need to be an example for my family.
The Future
I have goals of a being a healthy mother; one who is physically fit (according to my Dr. I should lose about 45 pounds), and has a reasonable relationship with food where I am in control of what and how much I eat, not my emotions. I want to make exercise a part of my routine – I want to enjoy it and not make excuses for skipping it. I desire to cook and eat well balanced meals – ones that show my children a variety of foods and doesn’t deprive them of anything (moderation). I want to teach my children how to live a healthy and balanced life, not how to diet!
These goals are all attainable, but it will take much planning, effort, and reflection. Firstly, I need to be honest with myself and not make excuses for my actions. Secondly, in regards to food, I need to focus on appropriate portion sizes, and purchasing more sensible food choices – ones that will work for the whole family (not pre-packed ‘diet’ food). Lastly, I need to exercise regularly. Our family belongs to the Y and I have made a commitment to attend classes bi-weekly, as well as workout at home 3 x week doing the elliptical machine or a cardio DVD.
I am sure that there will be both successes and struggles during this journey, but I am ready for both. I have made a plan and set goals, and I am committed to putting in the effort to be a and healthy mom. I’d love to continue to share my journey with you!
I have goals of a being a healthy mother; one who is physically fit (according to my Dr. I should lose about 45 pounds), and has a reasonable relationship with food where I am in control of what and how much I eat, not my emotions. I want to make exercise a part of my routine – I want to enjoy it and not make excuses for skipping it. I desire to cook and eat well balanced meals – ones that show my children a variety of foods and doesn’t deprive them of anything (moderation). I want to teach my children how to live a healthy and balanced life, not how to diet!
These goals are all attainable, but it will take much planning, effort, and reflection. Firstly, I need to be honest with myself and not make excuses for my actions. Secondly, in regards to food, I need to focus on appropriate portion sizes, and purchasing more sensible food choices – ones that will work for the whole family (not pre-packed ‘diet’ food). Lastly, I need to exercise regularly. Our family belongs to the Y and I have made a commitment to attend classes bi-weekly, as well as workout at home 3 x week doing the elliptical machine or a cardio DVD.
I am sure that there will be both successes and struggles during this journey, but I am ready for both. I have made a plan and set goals, and I am committed to putting in the effort to be a and healthy mom. I’d love to continue to share my journey with you!
