Relationships

Recently Ann posted about her struggle to define relationships now that she is changing to a more healthy lifestyle. See was looking inward.

It got me thinking - looking inward at where I've been and where I'm going - and my relationship with others. I believe that I have three categories of people in my life. They each come with a positive, and like with anything, there are great times to use them, and other times when something else would be more handy.

All too often when we are making positive life changes, those around us don't comprehend what those changes entail - for us or for them. Some have never been in our shoes and can't relate to the struggles and successes that fill our lives. Others have been there and aren't quite ready to begin the process of change.

Those that haven't been in these shoes (who could eat what and when they wanted, who have never struggled to be active, and who could shop at any store they choose) can listen but not often relate to stories. In the past, as I have lamented to a friend about really wanted Sour Patch kids and having that consume my thoughts, these types of friends look with an unsure eye or simply say, "oh...ok..." They are great motivators, because geez, who wouldn't want to shop anywhere and be innately active, but aren't the best to find comfort in on rough days.

Those that are not yet ready to make changes often think that we are judging them. I believe, that for many on this journey, there is nothing farther from the truth. I know what it's like to feel unattractive, to struggle with guilt, and to push it off for another day. I don't want to judge you, I want to support you. If you aren't ready for change, that's fine. We all need to do things when we are ready...otherwise it just won't work. I am on this journey for me, now, because I am ready. I'll be there if and when you're ready too. These friends are great to chat with, especially about those struggles (but don't get caught up in a pity party), but I sometimes feel unable to share success because I don't want to upset them or feel braggy.

And, thankfully there are friends that have been there and done that. These are the most valuable connection. These gems can relate to the struggles and are in place where they can honestly help to celebrate others' successes. Just remember, you are on your own journey. Learn from them - don't try to be them!